Thursday, October 23, 2008
Perhaps he should channel Jenny Craig instead of Denny Craig. (Yes, I went there. You want astute commentary, go somewhere else. You want cheap laughs at other people's expense, pull up a seat.)
It's that seeing what their "Adsense" makes of one's writing is endlessly amusing. What, for example, made it decide that you folks are interested in
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Could it be the picture in my profile?
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
I'm impressed. Historically, these have usually worked out well.
All these years when Brits have talked about "taking the tube" I must admit I had a very different mental image.
"I reached for the nozzle, turned her on and gingerly inserted myself into the tube," he wrote. "The suction power of a Hoover is far, far greater than what is called for in this circumstance."
The short blast of uninvited porn -- including an anal sex act -- was in the middle of a commercial that aired during a movie on Rogers' AMC channel twice between 3:30 and 4 p.m.
"I was shocked," said Robert Meredith, 47, of Barrie, who said the porn aired for more than a minute while he was watching Patriot Games, starring Harrison Ford.
Maybe it was just this?
In my experience, still being in scouting as a teenager is the best possible protection against having unsafe, or indeed, any sex.
The Scouts, the youth movement best known for its focus on bracing outdoor activities such as camping, hiking and fishing, is to arm its teenage members with practical advice about sex.
The movement, whose motto is Be Prepared, has issued new guidelines aimed at Explorer scouts between 14 and 18 in a bid to help them better understand some of the realities about sexual relationships
It's amazing how they pick up on things, perhaps from our body language, perhaps tone of voice. My old dog could tell when I was ordering pizza. Just by the way I picked up the phone. He didn't react when I'd pick up the phone for social reasons, or non-food related calls to companies, but before I could even push the first button of the phone number to a restaurant he was in his usual pizza's coming mode.
The pizza's coming mode, by the way, consisted of running at top speed through the place, up and down the stairs or into the bedroom running around in circles on the bed.
Monday, October 20, 2008
His insanity manifests itself artistically. Or at least, so I like to pretend.
It's his balls. No, not those balls. He's like a Disney cartoon. Even lying on his back with his legs spread, nothing shows. Very tasteful.
No, I'm talking about his other balls. Tennis balls, rubber balls, etc. He finds them and brings them home. And once he does, he does strange things with them.
He likes to organize things. He used to line them up on the window sill, but now they're arranged artistically around his dish. Note the Denta-stick propped up.
If this was the extent of it, that would be ok, but I'm afraid he's ventured into things (non-Dr.) Charles McVety would never approve of. It's true, you see. Same-sex marriage leads to inter-species sex. That's a kitten feeling up a bunny rabbit. And from the arrangement of the tennis balls, it's clear they're lesbians and he's giving a shout out to The L-Word.
It gets worse, I'm afraid.
He's set his sights on a new career working for that Canadian porn channel based in Ken Epp's home.
His plan? Choreographer for orgies.